At last! Some Ways to Improve Self Esteem

Are you looking for clues on how to be happy and ways to improve self esteem? If so, I'm sure you know the answer to the question 'What is self esteem?' if not click here for the answer. Otherwise, read on for some ways to improve self esteem that I've found useful.

Your Critical Voice

Are you critical of other people and things? I've been this way most of my life, and I didn't like it. In fact it was a big contributor to my low self esteem. How could I esteem myself when I was pulling others down? It was a revelation to realise that I was like this because I'm a fierce critic of myself. I was pulling myself down even more than I pulled others down.

We're all probably products of dysfunctional homes, because our parents weren't perfect. (Although they were doing the best they could with the knowledge and experience they had.) We all experienced as children times when our emotions weren't validated when our parents told us "You're OK so stop crying." or "There's nothing to be frightened of. Don't be silly!" When adults who are important to us tell us that what we're feeling is wrong, we come to conclusion that 'there must be something wrong with me'.

We heard many criticisms of ourselves and our behaviour when we were children. "Why can't you be like your brother/sister?" "Oh, do stop talking, you're giving me a headache!" "Look you've broken the dish now! You're so clumsy." "Sit still! You're such a fidget."

When we hear criticisms of ourselves for years it's not surprising we continue to criticise ourselves when we've grown. So we need to find some ways to improve our self esteem.

Kind Eyes

Something we can realise is that we are always doing the best we can with the knowledge and experiences we've had. If we could do better we would.

You may be disagreeing with me here, because your inner voice is saying, 'No, you could be doing something useful or sensible. Instead you're surfing the internet all evening. You're not doing your best, you're just being lazy.' Well, I suggest that voice is the voice of a parent or other authority figure from your past who has different priorities from you.

Getting back to the point that you are always doing your best (because if you could do better, you would do better). I suggest you write a little note maybe on a 'sticky' and stick it to a mirror that you look in each day. Write the words kind eyes to remind yourself to look at yourself with kind eyes. Most of us are so hard on ourselves that we could do with looking at ourselves with kinder eyes.

I'm proud of myself because...

Another of my ways to improve self esteem is to have a little pad by my bed. Each night I write something positive about myself. It could be something I've done that day that I'm proud of. If you can't find anything that you're proud about, then write a goal for tomorrow. Decide to do something that you can write about tomorrow. It could be to smile at someone, or to do something for someone, or just a little achievement, like crossing something off your to-do list.

In a low moment I can look back on this list and it boosts my esteem.

Some other ways I improve self esteem is to vary the focus of my list by using the following sentence starters, or any others that come to mind;

• I am worthwhile because ......
• I am loveable because ........
• I like myself because ........
• I love myself because ........

Write a Goal for Tomorrow

Have you found you feel good about yourself when you've achieved something? Well, here's one of the ways to improve self esteem that I've used to good effect.

Each night I write one or two things that I definitely want to get done the next day. If you're anything like me you won't have just one or two things, you'll have a long list! But, does it make you feel good when you haven't been able to accomplish them all during the day? Well, the purpose of this exercise is to raise your self esteem, so bear with me OK?

So write definitely no more that three things that you know you'll be able to accomplish during the following day. If you do this before you sleep then your subconscious mind (or I prefer to think, my higher self), will be getting me ready to do those activities in the most efficient manner.

So the next night, you can cross those items off you list, and that will be going a ways to improve self esteem.

Personal Affirmations

Saying self esteem affirmations is another way to improve self esteem. Check out a great list of affirmations over in my affirmations section here.

Emotional Freedom

I really do recommend EFT as one of the ways to improve self esteem. In fact it's one of the best ways, but that's a whole other page (or pages).

You'll find an introduction to it here at the Emotional Freedom Techniques page.

And then more at the Powerful Affirmations page.

Wind your way from this Ways to Improve Self Esteem page to the
How to Love Yourself page